Love women. Some of them might hurt you, break your heart, laugh at you, even slap you.
But never stop loving them, because as a gender, they deserve it, and if some of them hurt you or are stupid, it doesn't mean they're all like it.
Women are good at being caring, nurturing, soft, gentle, loving and giving. Here's what they don't tell you growing up - so are you.
Sometimes, believe it or not, the thought of having sex will be exhausting, nauseating or completely uninteresting to you. That's okay. It doesn't mean you're any less a man.
Sometimes when you want sex you won't be able to do it. That doesn't mean you're any less a man either.
Ignore everything you read or hear about the rules and etiquette about dating. If you want to call her, call her. If she isn't interested, she either won't call you back or you'll hear it in her voice. It's her loss – move on. Your conscience will tell you where the line between pursuit and stalking is.
Don't worry about what sort of man women want and whether you fit that description. Be yourself. Plenty of women will want and love you exactly the way you are.
Does she earn more money than you? What the hell are you complaining about? Open a beer, cook more or play with the kids. Enjoy it.
Don't compare yourself to anyone. Most rich people inherited what they have or got that way through an accident of fate and are no smarter than you.
Most of the men girls fawn over in magazines are 22 and don't know the first thing about real life. Most Hollywood stars have five hours a day to spend in the gym and have all their housework and meals done for them.
You're naturally aggressive and ambitious, more so than women are, and aggression is a dirty word in modern society. Ten thousand years ago it gave you the power to fight off predators and bring down prey who were bigger, stronger, faster and had sharper teeth. It let you feed your family. It's much too late to try and get rid of it now. What matters in this world is what you do with it.
Use your aggression to go after what you want. It's the hallmark of every alpha male in the animal kingdom.
But remember that you need be the alpha male to nobody but yourself.
Never, ever, under any circumstances hit a woman. For any reason. If you know of any man who hits a woman, hit him. Hard.
At least once in your life, shed tears over a woman. It takes a lot to make us cry, and there's no better reason to do so.
Build something. It's good for the male soul.
Destroy something. It's good fun.
Teach a child to build something. It's the reason we're the dominant species on Earth.
If you want to lash out in a temper, pick your target very carefully. It might blow off steam, but something you love might be broken and our anger is always stronger than our body – you'll probably hurt yourself. Instead, have something ready to take it, like a punching bag in the garage.
Love. There's nothing else in the world worth spending your life doing. Not even your work.
Love your work. If you don't, find other work.
Never think you know everything about something. Put yourself in a learning frame of mind even if you're the expert. The second you stop learning, you stop growing and you don't learn a thing more.
If she nags, tell her. Tell her you'll listen to her and promise to do what she wants, but she's driving you crazy and making you want to do it less.
Don't promise her you'll do something just so she stops nagging. If you promise her you'll do something, do it.
Kill spiders. It's your job. If she's not scared of them and you are, let her. But you have to kill something.
You have two people in you. The capable, strong man who can handle anything and the tiny boy frightened of everything and wanting his mother. Let them live together in harmony and don't struggle against either one.
Shake hands and introduce yourself and others. Even if somebody knows who somebody else is, it breaks a barrier.
Cultivate female friendships. Your wife or girlfriend is not the only woman in the world, and the company of women is very good for a man. If she's the jealous type, reassure her. She'll just have to learn to live with it.
As much as time and money allows, go away without your significant other, and have her go away without you. We were never designed to live in each others' faces, and you can never know the joy of missing someone and being reunited if they're there the whole time.
Being completely honest 100 percent of the time is for computers. We'll never truly and completely understand each other, so don't feel guilty of keeping some things to yourself. Chances are they're not important enough to bother her with anyway.
If you don't have sex for a year, don't put the first woman you sleep with on a pedestal. You'll end up disappointed and she won't be able to deal with the pressure.
When a wild animal is dangerous and can't be reasoned with, we put it in a cage. If you can't control damaging impulses or desires, that's where you belong too. Not for your sake – for everyone else's.
Your Dad might not have hugged you a lot, spent a lot of time with you or been much of a role model, but if he spent his whole working life putting food on your table love, respect and be grateful to him for it. If he was born before 1960 he probably never understood he should have done anything more.
If you break up with a girl, you might hate her and never want to see her again, but ask yourself if you and her could have been friends in another universe. If the answer is yes, you could be friends in this one too. Consider forgetting your past grievances and giving it a try.
If you're a virgin, you might be wondering if sex is really the be all and end all it's made out to be.
It is.
If you're a virgin, you're probably looking forward to your first time. Just remember chances are it won't be the carnal frenzy you imagined. It might even be terrible. Don't worry, it's gets much better.
Despite the erotic allure of one night stands and sex with hot strangers you meet at cool nightclubs or parties, the best sex you'll ever has is with someone you've done it with before, simply because you know what each other likes.
If you don't watch TV for a long time, you realise you're not missing anything. The best shows are on DVD anyway.
Few of the people above you in your workplace or industry are there because they're smarter, richer or more cunning than you. There's no reason it can't be you.
Don't try to identify with any group's likes or tastes to fit in. it's okay to like arthouse dramas and action blockbusters, or read high literature and comic strips.
Don't be ashamed of your hobbies, just keep in mind some hobbies will make some people assume you need a girlfriend.
If you work with computers for a living, build a wall or plant a garden. If you're a farmer or brickie, learn how to build a website. Never stop expanding your horizons.
Travel. The very act of doing it opens your soul to new experiences and you'll find strangers are friendlier and the world is more accommodating. We're a nomadic species and weren't built to stay anywhere forever.
Grow a beard at least once. Only you can do it, and ten thousand years ago that's how she picked you out from a long way away.
You'll never understand why we love boobs any more than she will when she rolls her eyes and shakes her head. Nor will you care. Just go with it.
If she never orgasms during sex it's not necessarily your fault, but don't rest until you both do something about it.
People are slack at keeping in contact, it's a fact of life. If you decide not to contact someone just because they don't contact you, you'll lose all your friends. It's holding a grudge to spite yourself, and unfortunately, it's a classic female trait.
When your daughter reaches 15 it's time to stop just saying 'no' when she wants something. Get all psychological and try and talk her out of it. Highlight the potential negatives. Lie. Anything. If she really wants it she's finally smart enough to get around you.
If what she wants isn't that bad and you're just being overprotective, say yes.
Don't compare your relationship to any other you see or hear about. If one of you snores so you have to sleep apart most of the time, so what? At least the marriage will be intact.
The most common state romantic partnerships end up in is with one party holding most of the emotional and decision making power. Fight against it like you've never fought anything. Respect her and her choices, but assert your right to have your own.
Make jokes about her being your property and belonging to you. If she really loves you, she'll roll her eyes but smile and love every minute of it.
If you're ever unhappy and feel like you can't stand life anymore, remember – everything changes. Everything. It'll get better with time, even without you really trying. Talk to someone and hold on.
It's true women love a man who can cry, but pick your moment. There's a feminine and a masculine side, and you can be too much of either.
Be brave. Even if you don't feel it, do it anyway. Courage isn't in how you feel, it's in what you do (often despite how you feel). Even if people can see you're scared, they'll respect you for doing it.
If you're terrified of public speaking, remember one thing – go slow. It's when you speed up trying to get through it you stumble over your tongue and sound like an idiot. Speaking slowly gives you the time to get your words right and you'll make fewer mistakes. If you shake, hold the podium. Make eye contact from one face to another. You'll even find yourself enjoying it – promise.
Put it in softer terms for the sake of social grace if you have to, but say what you mean and think.
They don't tell you this, but just like her, you'll have days when you feel fat, ugly and pasty and just want to hide.
Relax. No matter what you feel like a man should be, you can't be in control of everything in the world around you.
You'll probably never rule the world. Just relax and get over it. You don't have to be in control of everything every minute of the day.
No woman on the face of the Earth is out of your league.
